Home Birth for Dads

The XXX Adults Only reason to support home birth and independent midwives:

2009-05-03T21:38:00.001-07:00

Where could I possibly be going with this one? Well, my partner's waters broke a good deal of time, well over 24 hours, before the birth of our first child. Had we been in the hospital system, most hospital’s policies would have required that labour be artificially induced within 12 hours of membranes rupturing. Why? To minimise the chance of any infection now that the barrier between baby's world and the outside world had been breached. The thing is, when things are properly managed, it can be perfectly safe to have more than 12 hours between the first act and closing number, so to speak (I so wanted to say, 'when the fat lady sings'). Our primary midwife did a marvelous job of monitoring the situation as things slowly unfolded. Why did it all take so long? All women are different. Some women, more often in first births, will just take a while to do their thing. Unfortunately, hospital policies more often than not rob women of the time and space they sometimes need for nature to gradually (and safely) do its thing: I suspect the reasons here are usually to save $ and/or minimise any risk for possible litigation. Artificial induction can unfortunately start a chain reaction of often unnecessary, and sometimes harmful, interventions. One of the main reasons people often choose to hire independent midwives and have homebirths is to try to (safely) avoid unnecessary intervention.
Enter hero (me) stage right: after running around town trying to locate magical homeopathic tinctures and acupuncturists (none of which did anything at all to get labour happening), our primary midwife suggested how I may in fact hold the key to being able to save the day: yes, she suggested my partner and I go and...yes, I'm absolutely serious (well, if you must know, actual intercourse was not allowed, but…). And, sure enough, it worked like clockwork. Not only did labour start basically immediately, but we were both now much more relaxed and grounded; as if we'd suddenly been removed from the mounting stress and plugged back into the universe where we needed to be. So, to the men out there who may be wondering about their role as a support person, and who may or may not be wondering if home birth is worth considering, need I say more?

Why We Chose a Birth Centre: and Why We Then Changed Our Mind

2009-03-23T05:09:00.000-07:00

We booked into a birth centre thinking it was perhaps the most ‘sensible’ way to go about getting a natural birth. After all, what more could you really ask for?: Natural birth within the safety-net of a hospital in case something goes not so smoothly…well, it didn’t quite turn out that way:
- Birth Centres are still bound by strict hospital policies which may end up leading to medical interventions that are really unnecessary (which would have been the case for us in our first birth, whereby my partner would have been artificially induced into labour due to the time taken for labour to begin after waters broke).
- We found out that the Birth Centre we booked into closed a couple of times per week, meaning that if we happened to need to go in on one of their “off” nights, it would be straight to the labour ward. This birth centre no longer exists.
- So, we booked into another birth centre…

During our home births, having water available (birth pool) proved to be an invaluable pain relief tool for my partner. Our first child was actually born on the couch, but the second was a water birth. Whilst the second birth centre we booked into had a large bath available, there was no guarantee that it would be free when needed. Furthermore, hospital policy prevents births from taking place in the water, which means the woman actually has to get out of the bath to give birth!...I can tell you that from what I’ve seen, disturbing a woman at that point in the show is not what you want to be doing.
Now, regarding the birth-in-the-bath policy, we were given a wink and a nudge by the midwife who showed us around, and I think the wink is a permanent fixture of the birth centre tour…there are many a midwife who work in hospitals and birth centres who are frustrated by the confines of hospital policy, designed largely do avoid potential litigation at all costs, and who will do all they can to ensure a natural birth takes place. But, there are limits to what these good-willed people can do:
They can’t guarantee:
- A woman will be given all the time she needs to progress safely throughout labour without resorting to artificial induction.
- That water will be available for pain relief, and if desired, for birthing.
- Continuity of care (this is the biggie, really…I can’t overstate how great it has been having the same two amazing midwifes care for my partner through what will soon be 3 pregnancies/births. They don’t clock off…)

Enter home birth.

What to do when your partner says she wants to consider home birth?

2009-03-13T06:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I don’t know what you should do, but I’ll tell you what I did…I said something along the lines of, “You must be (expletive) joking”, and didn’t think much more of it, expecting it to be a passing notion that would be filed with things such as, “maybe we should have a red feature wall”…

I get the impression that many people start considering home birth after knowing, or knowing of, someone who’s had a positive home birth experience. That certainly was the case with us (a work colleague of my partner), and in turn, we seem to have inadvertently influenced some of our friends to do the same, or to at least think about it seriously.

But for now, back to our beginning; when the home birth notion didn’t disappear, and I was dragged along to some information sessions regarding birth choices, I honestly still thought that my partner would eventually ‘come to her senses’. The information sessions were very, um, informative, but statistics, no matter how compelling, can only mean so much when they’re independent of any real personal experience. For those of you in Australia who saw the SBS program, Insight, the other night (http://news.sbs.com.au/insight/episode/index/id/56), it’s obvious just how easily statistics can be bent or framed to suit one’s personal view. So often when the topic of homebirth is raised, it is quickly portrayed as a David and Goliath battle of Obstetrics versus Midwifery; but this misses the point completely: It’s not about one being “better” than the other, it’s about individual women being able to be informed and free to choose what’s best for them.

After the information sessions, I was left almost feeling guilty if I didn’t step up to the home birth plate; the statistics and arguments really were so compelling. Still, my partner and I felt overwhelmed and needed time and space to digest it all. We took a step in the ‘natural’ direction though and booked into a birth centre (all the while the home birth concept was niggling in our minds)…

More to follow soon.

Thanks for reading.

Birth Choices: What's happening in my 'Lucky Country?'

2009-03-11T05:14:00.000-07:00

Hi.
I'm a father of 2 (soon to be 3) living in Melbourne, Australia.
I plan to use this online forum to post my thoughts and feelings on home birth, based on my own family's experiences. I've been motivated to do so after recent movements in Australian politics have paved the way towards ending the legal practice of independent midwifery (and effectively outlawing home birth) in this country.
My writings here will not be about force-feeding the concept of home birth to anyone, but rather to share my own personal journey as it continues towards my partner's 3rd planned home birth this year.
The topic of home birth is emotive.
Fathers tend to be innately protective. (I'd been paying for private health insurance for years because I thought the best birth environment for all women was the shiniest private hospital.)

The current models for birthing in Australia disempower women, which in turn has consequences for the baby and entire family.
Home birth isn't for all women/families, but informed choice is.
Having supported my partner through the successful home births of two children over the past 3 years, and with another fast approaching, the underlying message that stays with me as a father is that women ultimately deserve to feel comfortable and trusting of both their birth environment and support people; be that independent midwives with a partner and best friend in the living room, or an obstetrician and medical team in a private hospital for an elective c-section.
Denying women of this fundamental choice would be a big step backward for this country's women, families and generations to come.
The pain of traumatic birth experiences last far beyond visible wounds.
We as a country are poorly educated about birth, making it very easy for scare-mongering to proliferate.
I look forward to telling my story in the hope that it might make some difference.
One can only try.

There's a lot to say...I'll take it bit by bit.

Thanks for reading & please don't be shy about posting your comments.

For what it's worth, a bit about me:
- I'm 30 years old
- I'm not a hippie (although I admit, there's a bit of tofu in my diet)
- I was as sceptical as could be about the concept of home birth when my partner first suggested the notion to me, a little over 3 years ago (I've learnt a lot since then).

Oh, and if you're reading Nicola Roxon, please don't forget to check your mail.